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i fell in love with him like ketchup falls out of a bottle: slowly, and then all at once.
oh my god you managed to one up john green.
66,616 notes (via fangirl-like-no-one-is-watching & mercimonamie)
once my baby was being really annoying so i put it in the basement but then i forgot and decided i didn’t want my basement anymore so i got rid of the door and then decided to do the rest later and when child protective services came they couldn’t get to my kid so they just wandered around my house
i’m talking about the sims please don’t call the police
OH MY GOD
9,416 notes (via simplymykayla & iwilleatyourenglish)
hush little laptop dont you cry. Mommy’s gonna find you some more wifi.
And if that wifi doesn’t work
Momma will destroy the fucking earth
49,086 notes (via fangirl-like-no-one-is-watching & long-weave-dont-believe)
one time i explained post limit to my mom and she says
“is that why you get off the computer sometimes”
48,870 notes (via fangirl-like-no-one-is-watching & -annoying)
If we’re friends, there’s a 106% chance that I’m always petrified that you secretly hate me.
161,239 notes (via idontwannaliveonthemoon & escapistaz)
everyone’s getting into relationships and you know what im getting? some more food brb
45,874 notes (via simplymykayla & m-oonblaze)
let us have a moment of silence for those who unknowingly dated and broke up with a future celebrity
my math teacher dated Ryan Gosling in highschool.
my neighbor dated bill nye the science guy
well my godmother dated david tennant when they were 16
my boyfriend dated me
195,637 notes (via how-does-one-suck-a-fuck & rhydonmyhardon)
49,507 notes (via nafehaneverknows & preteenager)
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